Unit 10: My Reflection

The past ten weeks have been quite an experience for me.  I have grown as a person so much.  I have learned so much.  In unit three I assessed my own wellness in three areas (physical, psychological, and spiritual).  Today I would happily say I have progressed in all three areas.  For the improvement and growth based on the goals I set forth, I would probably score myself at a nine in all aspects.  I say only a nine because it leaves room for even more improvement.  Certainly I would say I am on the right path to optimum health and wellness.

Overall this course has helped me tremendously.  I believe that I am not only a better version of myself, but much better equipped to assist my clients through life-changing practices.  The whole class has been rewarding for me.  To see myself develop and learn more about myself was probably the most rewarding.  My largest obstacle was just simply learning to quiet my mind for meditation.  I still struggle a little with this, but I believe with continued practice I will have it mastered someday.  As time passes I will continue to develop myself into better and better versions because of the practices I have learned in this course.

Unit 9: Putting It All Together

Introduction

            Health care professionals must develop psychologically, spiritually, and physically so they can provide first-hand knowledge to their patients.  One cannot guide another to a place they have never been.  Therefore the professional must understand what the journey entails (through personal application) to successfully assist their clients.

            Of the three areas, I would need to work more diligently on my spiritual development than on the other two.  I have been working tediously on my physical development for about 30 months and my psychological development for nearly 34 months.  My spiritual development is the one area that is neglected more than any other.  To continue my journey to human flourishing (my ultimate goal) I must not neglect any area of my life.

Assessment

            In unit three we were to assess ourselves.  My self-determined scores were as follows: psychological – 8, physical – 8, and spiritual – 8.  Although I am working carefully on two of the three, I feel there is certainly room for improvement.  As for my spiritual wellbeing, I have not been actively working to improve it, but I do consider myself quite spiritual.  To improve all three areas, though, I must apply intentional development and application of various practices.

Goal Development

            I could list a couple dozen physical goals I have because this is something I think about every single day.  As a personal trainer (and formerly morbidly obese woman), physical appearances are in the forefront of my mind constantly.  I will say; however, as a general goal I want my body to be optimally fit and functional (meaning full range of motion of all joints, aligned, and without dysfunction).  This is something I work toward constantly with functional training and specificity in exercise.

            As for a psychological goal, I would probably have to say I would like to continue to improve my stress coping skills to declutter my mind.  I worked with a therapist for about two and a half years to learn many tools to cope successfully with stress.  Although I have improved greatly, I would really love to continue that development and to adapt my initial reactions.  With practice, I will learn to stop reacting and begin being intentional with my actions under stress.

            My spiritual goal would probably be the most difficult for me to define.  I suppose I would say I wish to continue to develop my connection to my fellow humans and to nature.  Fostering growth in this way will allow me to further develop my spirituality.

Practices for Personal Health

            The implementation of physical practices will be quite simple since it is my career.  To foster my above goal, I will increase my flexibility and stability training.  These practices will improve the functionality of my body and reduce risk for future injury (keeping my body at optimal fitness and function).

            To facilitate my psychological change and meet my above goal, I will continue to meditate a minimum of twice weekly.  As a blended method to work toward both my physical and psychological goals (as well as my spiritual goal), I intend to incorporate yoga into my routine.  This will be in addition to guided meditation practices.

            With the intention of improving my spirituality I intend to spend more time outside doing contemplative practices.  Practicing the loving-kindness exercises we covered in class will also help to improve my spirituality and further develop my inner self.

Commitment

            I will use the tools provided to me during this course to continually monitor my own progress throughout this transformation.  Building a network that keeps me accountable will also help me stay on track.  I have been discussing the possibility of beginning a “support group” (of sorts) to clients at the gym who wish to improve their psychological and spiritual health along with their physical health.  This would create an environment in which we can work together to support each other’s journeys.  It would also allow us to learn from others new ways to implement these changes and foster inner growth.

Unit 8: A Review

As we are nearing the end of the course, we are to take a moment to review the practices we have tried so far.  The two practices I have found most beneficial are Unit 3's Rainbow Meditation and Unit 5's Subtle Mind.  I chose these practices because I felt as though they will help me improve some weak areas of mine.  I struggled with both exercises, of course, but with practice I know I can do better.  Unit 5's exercise would probably be even more beneficial than Unit 3's simply because I have a hard time not clinging to thoughts.

My goal is to meditate at least twice weekly (I will increase the number of times as my skills improve and as I have more time).  So, each of these exercises will be completely once weekly.  This should give me enough practice to really start developing the skills needed to find these exercises more beneficial.

Until next time...

Unit 7: Mindfulness

I think I am *finally* starting to relax a little more during these exercises!  The only issue is that now as I am more relaxed, the woman's voice keeps startling me when she begins talking again (I know another of my classmates has experienced that same thing in previous weeks).  At least I feel as though I am making some progress, though.

Practicing being mindful in my daily life has been beneficial.  I feel like I am truly hearing people instead of coloring their words with my perceptions (which often leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings).  My communication, in general, is improving since the beginning of this course.  Despite my challenges with many (or all) of the meditation exercises we have completed, I am actually enjoying them.  Moving outside of my normal "comfort zone" is invigorating, and I am learning things along the way.  Even after the conclusion of this course, I will continue trying new meditation methods and growing my inner self.  I have tried (a couple times) just playing light, relaxing music and meditating on my own (without voices or guidance) and have had a decent amount of success with that.  It is likely that will become my "go to" method of meditation.

A quote from Conscious & Healing (Schlitz, Amorok, & Micozzi, 2005) says, "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself."  I interpret this saying as "practice what you preach."  You cannot guide someone in a direction that you have not traveled yourself because you do not understand the nature of the journey.  This applies to my life as a personal trainer in many ways.  I cannot give fitness advice without experiencing it for myself.  I must lead by example with all my clients (or even just members of the gym). What would it mean for my credibility if I were never seen exercising in the gym, or if I were eating fast food at the front desk?  I would not be "walking the walk," so to speak and that would make me less successful in guiding someone else in their fitness journey.

Until next time...

Unit 6: Meditation and Assessment

I almost hate to say this again, but I struggle with this week's loving-kindness exercise.  This is the exercise from Dacher (2006):

"Close your eyes and for a minute or two rest into the natural ease of your mind and body, and repeat the following phrases for 10 minutes:
May all individuals gain freedom from suffering.
May all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholeness.
May I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.
May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness."

Ten minutes never seemed so long.  I actually found myself looking at my watch more often during this exercise than any previous.  I suppose I am impatient, or maybe I just need *a lot* more practice at this whole "quietness/stillness" thing.  This was harder for me than the weeks previous because there was no noise (no water soundtrack, no voices...just nothing).

The second part of our weekly exercise was a personal integral assessment.  Of all aspects, I chose my biological  aspect to focus on.  I am more critical of my physical appearance (and less satisfied with it) than any other aspect of my life.  Most of my personal struggles come from my dislike of my physical body (although I know that makes me sound shallow, I am not).  I chose this aspect because I know my life (in so many ways) would be so much easier/less complicated if I could just learn to love my physical body.  In an attempt to grow this part of me, I have placed positive affirmations relating to self-love all over my house (particularly by my computer, in my bedroom, and in the bathroom) where I spend the most time (other than work, of course).  Another thing I have done is purchase a full-length mirror for the first time in at least 15 years.  I make myself look at my body every single day, even if for only a few minutes.  I am hoping these two things, along with positive self talk, will help begin mending this area of my life.

Until next time...

Unit 5: The Subtle Mind

This week we were focused on the subtle mind.  Last week's exercise was more centered on others whereas this week we were not to focus on any one thing or person specifically.  We were to allow our thoughts to "drift" and to acknowledge but not cling to them.  This means that any random thought in our mind was "okay" and we were not attempting to have any particular thought.  This is the witnessing mind.

I will be honest, I was excited as the exercise began with a male voice.  Of course, I was quickly disappointed as the female took over for the remainder of the exercise.  I had difficulty letting my mind "drift" and not clinging to thoughts as they came to me.  I also had difficulty sitting still for the length of the exercise.  I noticed my leg starting to bounce/fidget about half-way through the exercise.  Then I found myself focused on the fact that my leg was bouncing (which means I was, in fact, clinging to that thought).  Overall it was a decent exercise, but definitely not my favorite to date.

Wellness is all-encompassing...spiritual, physical, and mental.  One cannot be truly "well" if one of those things is not "in tune."  I think of it like a three-legged stool.  If one leg is shorter (or longer) than the other two, it is not stable and cannot really be sat upon sturdily.  To develop wellness, one must consider (equally) all three aspects and strive to improve all of them.

Until next time...

Unit 4: Mental Workout

This week we focused on loving kindness exercises as a mental workout.  A mental workout can be thought of as the mental equivalent of a physical workout.  You cannot improve your physical health without effort and practice.  Your mental health is the same.  To reach deeper levels of consciousness and move closer to human flourishing you must practice (sustained effort).  Allotting time each day for a mental workout (our book mentions an hour a day) and making it a priority will be important to maintain the benefits long-term.  As with physical exercise...use it or lose it.

Our guided practice/mental workout for the week was not my favorite to date.  I have done the exercise four times so far this week (not the recommended twice daily, I know).  I think it is the woman's voice that makes me struggle with this exercise more.  The male voice I found more relaxing (although I also struggled with those exercises).  I will say; however, that I struggled less with this one for my previous reasons.  I just found myself continuously focused on her voice and kept thinking I would rather it be a man.  Overall, the purpose of the exercise was great, and I would recommend it to others.  I truly believe that more people should take the time to be less self-centered and focus more on others and their feelings.  This exercise would be a great first step to making that a reality.

Until next time,
-Erica

Unit 3: My Own Wellness {currently}

This week we are to evaluate ourselves in an effort to really identify our own strengths and weaknesses.  I

am excited to take such a detailed inventory of myself so that it gives me the opportunity to measure personal growth as I move forward through this journey.

My physical well-being: I would give myself an 8 out of 10 in this area.  I have worked extremely hard over the last two years to improve my physical health.  I have lost nearly 170 pounds and went from a 28W to a 12 in jeans.  I am more physically active today than I have ever been in my life and I love it.  There are areas of my physical health that are not optimal (which is why I did not give myself a full 10).  I do have arthritis in my knees and I do not eat 100% clean/organic.  My goal in this area is to improve the quality of food I am putting into my body consistently (that is the key...consistency) and to continue to workout regularly.

My spiritual well-being: This is a challenging area for me.  I am not religious, but I do consider myself spiritual.  I believe there is a higher connectedness in the universe and that all things come together to create the larger picture.  Additionally, I believe that what energy I put out is returned to me, which is why I strive to be positive in even the most challenging situations, and I always take time to see others' point of view.  The people closest to me would also tell you I am consistently kind, generous, helpful, compassionate, and genuinely supportive/encouraging.  So, I suppose I would give myself another 8 out of 10 in this area.  As for a goal...I am not quite sure.

My psychological well-being: I am going to give myself yet another 8 out of 10.  In March 2011 I sought the help of a therapist because my psychological well-being was in shambles.  In June of this year I was released from therapy after making such wonderful strides.  I cope better with stress today than I ever have.  I am mentally and emotionally more calm/at peace.  The biggest portion, though, is that I now am to the point where I can express emotion without allowing them to control me.  This is something I struggled with greatly before therapy and am thankful to have such a better handle on.  My goal in this area is to continue to utilize the tools taught to me by my therapist and grow into an even better version of myself than I am today.

Our relaxation exercise this week was "Rainbow Meditation."  This technique utilizes chakras and their associated colors (7 colors, 7 regions of the body).  We moved from the base of the spine (red) up through the top of the head (violet).  Each area of the body/spine correlated to a different color.  I found this exercise a little easier than last week's.  I still struggled to keep my mind clear and to really relax, but I do feel as though I did better than last week.  As we move forward through the weeks, I believe I will get better at clearing my mind and really relaxing.  I am looking forward to it!

Until next time,
-Erica

Welcome!

Welcome to Healing Inward.  This blog is going to be my way of documenting my investigation into integral health (for a class I am taking through Kaplan University).  This is a journey I am truly looking forward to and am excited to see what things I discover (and how my life will change because of these discoveries).

For this week I was to listen to a relaxation exercise (similar to guided meditation).  I find these exercises to be challenging for me, but in the best possible way.  I enjoy stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new, but I find it difficult to shove "things" out of my mind and truly relax.  Practice will make this process easier for me going forward (because I will be working toward improved mental fitness).  I look forward to more exercises such as this to learn how to push "things" out of my mind and experience true relaxation.

Thanks for reading,

-Erica